Ever wonder why your mom or grandma have those romance (sometimes smutty) novels crowded on their bookshelves? Or maybe you have a whole corner of your room devoted to these guilty pleasures?

*Please note that this post is not scientifically backed by any evidence to support these claims. These are just my personal opinion on the matter because I am an avid romance novel reader. If you don’t agree with anything I present below, feel free to kindly have a different opinion.

Do we feel warm and fuzzy reading romance stories? Yes. Are there characters we can relate to? Absolutely. Are there love interests that make us swoon and (in the words of Pam Poovey from the TV series Archer – one of my favorite shows!) “sploosh”? HELL YES.

These are just some of the reasons why we inhale romance novels.

Here’s the real reason we love them: because we are attracted to the heartache and torment.

Is this a minor opinion from my emo little soul? Could be. Who knows? I’m betting there are others out there who devour romance novels because we want to cry along with heartache and rejections. To feel the deep ache of the pain and struggles of these characters. Could explain why Shakespeare tragedies were so popular, huh? And what about those melodramatic operas?

Romance novels are wrought with heartache, fear, insecurities, doubts, conflict. Anxious yet? Or maybe this excites you, you weirdo. You wouldn’t be attracted to these types of novels if you wanted to read about happy things all the time. A happy-around-the-clock couple would make for a stagnant story. Also that’d be boring as hell.

The most basic human need: love and hope.

Having hope that we can succeed in love the way these characters (in most romance novels) do is an innate desire in us as humans. Humans want to know that the effort put into something will pay off.

Love stories show that opening up our delicate hearts, being vulnerable, sharing deepest hopes and fear, and riding the rough tides with a partner (the scariest damn things we inevitably all have to do in life!) will pay off. It satisfies our basic human desire of love and hope.

We crave and relate to the characters’ struggles, torment and heartache.

Do you enjoy reading the love interests wrestling their feelings for each other for hundreds of pages before they actually get together? I know, this may seem like we’re masochistic people. Like I LIVE for this stuff. The more heartache and insecurities they feel the more I’m into it.

Why?

Sure love stories are filled with happy endings and fairytale moments. Sexy or sweet love scenes. Playful and endearing interactions between characters. Perfect poetic lines that express their deepest affection for each other.

But love stories also allow us to feel empathy for the characters. Love stories are raw and vulnerable. They touch upon the most intimate, private and sensitive parts of being human. They unabashedly bare it all out for the audience to read. That’s why they’re so attractive. Because these flawed characters with these complex feelings are placed in this world that freely reveals these intimate, private, sensitive and relatable experiences. Sometimes we don’t have the luxury of boldly expressing ourselves without facing judgment from others. We feel less alone. We feel safe in this mental space where we can openly connect with a character. We find comfort between the pages, knowing there’s no judgment towards our sensitive hearts.

Maybe others’ are reading romance novels for the feel good moments. But I read it for the vulnerable moments. The moments where the characters are unsure if they are loved back. Where they question their beauty, intelligence, talents, and skills. When they are love struck and want to exclaim their feelings but mentally debate whether or not it’s the right time. When they are heartbroken anticipating their relationship to move forward to the next stage but in actuality their partner breaks up with them.

Whatever does it for you, there’s a little emo side of you that relishes these moments in romance novels. Hope you learned something new! If you didn’t, well at least I got to share my opinion.

(AKA this post is spoken like a true INFJ and hopeless romantic. Don’t lie, you’re one too.)